If Someone Is Secretly in Love, They Usually Display These Behaviours

Not everyone who hides their romantic feelings for someone will act the same.

Some will hide because they feel ashamed to express themselves, for whatever reason. Perhaps their crush is already in a relationship, or perhaps they’re not ready to come clean.

For some, the fun is all in the chase. They don’t want to make it obvious, but it’s not that they’re hiding from themselves either. Big Gemini energy, for sure.


From all facets of the art of crushing and not telling, here are 10 behaviours someone might display when they’re secretly in love.

1) They are distracted

One thing about love is that it takes up space in our lives, especially in our thoughts and attention. It can transport one to a world of their own, where they constantly daydream about the object of their affection. Reliving memories or getting lost in potential scenarios.

So if a person appears to be off their a-game, but they don’t seem particularly distressed out of nowhere, they might have a crush that they don’t want anyone to know about. Even in conversations, these individuals might seem like they’re not completely there but somewhere else in their minds that they’d rather be.

2) They are constantly checking their messages and social media

A natural byproduct of being distracted that isn’t applicable to everyone but is no surprise for those that it does. In conjunction with that daydreamy look in their eyes, they might start obsessively checking their phone to see what their crush is up to.

Especially because social media is where people express themselves and share snippets of their lives on a semi-regular basis. Now I’m not saying that this affection is necessarily rooted in reality.  But you can’t deny that when you’re in love, everything a person does just appears more magical than usual. Almost like a drug that makes us giddy like a child.

In fact, this odd dissonance of heightened distraction and enchantment can make them feel further confused emotionally. But what is love if not a strange feeling that makes you lose your logic and follow your desires? Even if it’s away from your common sense.

3) They are more emotionally sensitive

To a harmless extent, love makes you more emotional, which can leave some people feeling extra vulnerable. Depending on how you feel about vulnerability, it can make you more attuned to even the subtlest of emotions.

So a person who has a secret love blooming in their hearts might react differently to certain situations that are related to love and relationships. For example, they might start resonating with all the silly ways people act in cheesy rom-coms. 

Or start speaking in poetry like they’re Shakespeare minus the tragedies—for the most part. In addition to their increased sense of empathy and heartspace, they might start being warmer to everyone around them. It’s almost like there’s a secret playlist playing in their minds at all times, filled with love songs and bouquets of flowers.

4) They are defensive at the mention of their crush

Now, don’t torture them. But if you suspect that someone has a secret pining for a certain someone, bring them up in conversation.

In most cases, they’ll react with a certain defensiveness. In both senses, they feel weirdly cornered by certain questions.

As well, they might feel a call to protect the person in question like an unofficial knight in shining armour. On the other hand, they might react with coldness to hide their feelings. And react with quick humour or sarcasm to downplay them. Including, but not limited to, ears turning red with a look of panic in their eyes.

5) They play hot and cold

Aforementioned, they might react unpredictably at the mention of their secret love. This hot and cold behaviour could also be reflected in their body language as well. For example, they might be super nervous whenever their crush is around. Or they might start unconsciously mirroring them! The bottom line is that they aren’t acting like their usual selves. And their actions and words tend to go against each other.

The push and pull could also affect how they interact with their crush. They are like a lost puppy one day, then reserve the next. It might seem childish to everyone around, but those who have been there get it. It takes time before the hot and cold temperatures reach a comfortable level. Which we’ll be talking about next!

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