If You Want To Improve Your Relationships, Start With These 14 Behaviors
Too many relationships end prematurely because the romantic partners wouldn’t work together on improving them. Still, there are many behaviours we can adopt to improve our relationships. Here are the ones that are relatively easy to put in place regardless of where your relationship is in its timeline.
1) Pay full attention and engage in meaningful conversations
This behaviour is so easy to implement, yet many people fall short. It just takes you to drop your smartphone when someone is talking to you and paying full attention to what they’re saying. Ask them substantial questions that will expand the conversation into a deeper and more meaningful one. But above all, genuinely care about what they’re saying. Otherwise, it will all be in vain.
2) Put yourself in your partner’s shoes
Empathy and understanding start with putting yourself in your partner’s shoes. To begin improving your relationship, you need to understand their perspective. If they aren’t satisfied with some aspects of your relationship or some things that you did lately, try to see where they’re coming from.
What irks them about it? Here’s an example: You and your partner are different when it comes to socializing. While you like going out and meeting new people, your partner is more introverted and prefers quiet evenings at home. Instead of pressuring them to attend social events, you put yourself in their shoes.
Recognize their need for downtime and suggest alternative activities that align with their comfort levels, such as a cosy movie night or a relaxing dinner at home. Or try and find a social setting where they’d be more comfortable meeting new folks. Something with less social pressure, such as group hiking, game nights at home, workshops, etc.
3) Manage your expectations
When you’re trying to fix a broken relationship, it’s easy to become frustrated and even feel helpless. You may even be tempted to throw in the towel and give up on love. I want to suggest doing something different. It’s something I learned from the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê. He taught me that the way to find love and intimacy is not what we have been culturally conditioned to believe. So, if you want to fix or improve your relationship, I’d recommend starting with yourself first and taking Rudá’s incredible advice.
4) Treat them with dignity
Another thing that’s often lacking in some relationships, especially long ones, is a lack of respect and dignity. For whatever reason, one, or both partners, start treating each other like adversaries and not equal partners.
To fix this wonky balance, you need to start valuing their opinions and show consideration for their feelings. Recognize and appreciate their quirks and features, approach them with kindness and compassion, and express gratitude for their contributions, efforts, and positive qualities.
5) Express your thoughts and emotions clearly, honestly, and constructively
Most men I know have a difficult time expressing their thoughts and emotions, honestly, and constructively. I mean, how can you have an open and transparent dialogue when one side is talking less than Hulk?
By clearly expressing your thoughts and emotions, you create a foundation of effective communication and mutual understanding in your relationships. It encourages open dialogue, builds trust, and strengthens your connections with them. Ladies, let your partner know that you value and appreciate his perspective. Encourage him to share his thoughts and emotions by creating opportunities for open and honest discussions
6) Build and maintain trust
Trust isn’t given, it’s earned. When you build and maintain trust, you create a sense of security, reliability, and emotional intimacy. It’s definitely an ongoing process that can be set back if one of the partners does something to break the trust. If you’re the one that broke the trust, take responsibility, sincerely apologize, and work together to rebuild it back through open communication, understanding, and consistent trustworthy behaviours.
7) Express gratitude
I’ve already mentioned that you need to express gratitude. However, I find that many couples don’t do it that often. I can’t emphasize enough how important this is. You need to start truly appreciating your partner. Acknowledge and express gratitude for their contributions and efforts. Say thanks and buy flowers more than once a year. Leave a thoughtful note every week as a bare minimum. By recognizing and appreciating their strengths, skills, and achievements, you uplift their spirits and promote a sense of self-worth.
8) Be willing to find a middle ground
Equally important is being willing to find the middle ground. Focus on the health and well-being of the relationship over individual preferences or desires. Finding a middle ground allows both partners to feel heard, respected, and valued encouraging a sense of equality and harmony.
Be open-minded and willing to explore different possibilities. Avoid rigid thinking or the urge to win at all costs. As I said, too many couples treat their relationship or marriage as a battleground. Embrace the idea that there can be many correct and valuable perspectives, and that compromise is a constructive approach to reconcile differing opinions.
9) Let go of grudges
Holding onto grudges is bad. Really bad. It breeds resentment, erodes trust, and restricts personal growth. It’s also emotionally draining and harmful to your own well-being. Practice forgiveness, and give them a chance to make amends. Without letting go of grudges, there’s no way forward or conflict resolution. By letting go of grudges, you release yourself from the past and embrace the opportunities and happiness that exist in the present. Ultimately, it comes down to seeing the humanity in others and realizing that everyone makes mistakes and is capable of growth and change.
10) Recognize you don’t have all the answers
Stubborn people, myself included, often think they know the best in and about every situation. Of course, no one’s that smart, and it really makes them the pain in the behind of their partners. It’s not only annoying but also super arrogant. Recognizing you don’t have all the answers is an important mindset to have and maintain. Not only in relationships but in life in general. It allows us to learn from others and promotes a sense of collaboration and equality in relationships.
11) Offer emotional, practical, and moral support
One of the best ways of improving any relationship is by offering emotional, practical, and moral support. For instance, actively listening to your partner’s concerns and offering guidance when they’re unsure about a difficult decision they need to make. Or offering practical support by taking the initiative to help with cleaning, cooking, or other responsibilities. But also encouraging their pursuits, showing enthusiasm, and actively participating or providing resources that can help them explore their passions, such as new hobbies.
12) Be patient
Patience is one of the best qualities you can have. It’s rooted in empathy and the ability to understand and appreciate others’ perspectives and emotions. It demonstrates you value their presence, opinions, and experiences enough to invest time and effort in maintaining the relationship. But patience allows space for understanding, compromise, and growth, strengthening the bond between two people.
13) Take care of your own well-being
I’ve only recently become aware of how important it is to take care of yourself for the greater good of the relationship. We all live such busy lives that one or both partners neglect their physical and mental states. When you care for your physical, emotional, and mental health, you’re better equipped to show up as your best self in relationships. Self-care activities include exercise, adequate rest, healthy eating, engaging in hobbies, practising mindfulness, and asking for support when needed. It positively affects your relationships in many ways. As does this next behaviour.
14) Cooperate and work together towards common goals
Collaborating and working together towards common goals is a powerful approach that promotes teamwork, shared purpose, and a sense of action and accomplishment in relationships. For it to work, you must align efforts, combine strengths, and jointly pursue meaningful objectives for both partners.
A typical shared goal is buying a home to live in. It involves establishing a joint budget, discussing financial priorities, and working together to cut expenses and increase savings. Partners celebrate each milestone they achieve and support each other during the process. For my wife and I, this promoted a sense of shared triumph and financial security.
