10 Signs You’re a Lot More Loved Than You Realize
Seeing all your friends posting on social media about the flowers they received from their SOs or their saccharine-sweet posts about their loved ones can sometimes feel like your life doesn’t measure up. Where are my flowers, you might ask? And my heartfelt declarations from my partner or friends or family? Well, I’ve got news for you. Love isn’t always about grand gestures, elaborate gifts, or social media posts filled with sweet nothings. Love – the real deal – often shows up in the most unassuming ways, in everyday actions that you might easily overlook.
1) People check up on you
About eight years ago, I had to go into the hospital for major surgery. Now, I’m a fairly low-key person so I didn’t really make a big deal out of it. I simply informed my bosses at work that I’d be on hospital leave. I was so surprised, then, when a few days after the surgery, coworker after coworker came to visit me. Even those I wasn’t especially close to. My husband said, “I didn’t realize how important you are at work!”
Well, it was an eye-opener for me, too. The people around me weren’t exactly given big gestures of love and friendship, but they cared enough to reach out and check on how I was doing. So, look at your own circle. Do you have someone who texts you when you’re down with the flu? Or someone who knew you had a big presentation at work and wanted to find out how it went? If so, consider yourself lucky. They aren’t just being polite; they truly care about you. You’re loved much more than you think!
2) You always have someone to listen to you
Let’s do another life check: when you need someone to talk to, are you able to find one? Believe it or not, there are people out there who are going through life alone. Literally alone. With no one to talk to about their problems. But if you have even just one person to listen to you, you are loved. Because again, they’re not just doing it to be polite. They are genuinely interested in what you have to say. More importantly, you’re valuable enough to be given the gift of your time. And trust me, for many people, time is such a precious resource that they don’t just squander away. So if they have time for you, that means you’re important to them!
3) They remember small details about you
Another sign you’ve got people in your corner is if they remember small details about you. Look, it’s one thing to listen, another to remember. They remember your favourite ice cream flavour, the band you like, your shoe size, and even the name of your first pet. These aren’t mere details, but a testament to how much attention they give you. To their love for you. My husband is one of those quiet types who aren’t showy about their feelings.
So, forget the idea of social media posts extolling my virtues – that’s just not happening. But he more than makes up for it because he tucks away everything I tell him. For instance, I once mentioned how I’d love to eat at the new Italian restaurant everyone’s raving about, and then a few weekends later, he surprised me with a reservation there. And when he first met my coworkers, he remembered their names (and the stories to go with them!). So you see, these insignificant details actually tell you that what you put out in the world gets remembered…by those who love you.
4) You’ve got people around you during the tough times
It’s easy to be around when the going is good, but when the chips are down, that’s when you find out if you’re truly loved. Because the ones who do will stick around no matter the circumstances. Again, not everyone is fortunate to have this. I know of people who had so many friends around them while they were at the top of their game, only to find themselves abandoned when their lives took a sudden downturn. If you’ve got people willing to lie down on the floor with you (like Meredith Grey did for Izzy Stevens on Grey’s Anatomy), you’re much more loved than you realize.
5) Your happiness is theirs, too
Just like having people around you during your low points, another sign you’re more loved than you realize is if you’ve also got people sharing in your happiness. Do your loved ones seem overjoyed when you’re happy? Do they celebrate your success? Nothing screams “I love you” more than that. The people in your life might not be big on grand gestures, but if their faces light up when yours does, that’s proof of their love.
6) They make sacrifices for you
My mom has never been an expressive or affectionate person. In fact, I can count on one hand the number of times I got a real, tight bear hug from her. When I was a child, this bothered me so much. Why wasn’t my mom sweet? Why wasn’t she like my friend Mia’s mom, who always hugged and kissed Mia when dropping her off at school? Didn’t she love me?
My grandma told me this: Look at how hard your mom works. Look at how late she comes home at night after working overtime just to give you a good life. Look at how, no matter how tired she is, she still leaves you handwritten worksheets to make sure you’re ready for your next quiz. Look at the way she gives you the biggest piece of meat and saves the smallest one for herself. Do you still think she doesn’t love you? That shut me up, for sure. And that’s when I learned that love comes in many forms, and possibly the highest of them would be sacrificed. It takes a lot of love to put aside one’s needs for another person’s well-being.
7) They respect your boundaries
Speaking of putting aside one’s needs brings me to this next point – respect for boundaries. Those who love you will understand your need for personal space and won’t violate it. They might want you to do something for them, but they won’t push you into anything you’re not comfortable with. As someone who guards her personal space fiercely, I feel truly loved when my family gives me some time to be alone, even when they want us to spend time together. It shows they value my comfort more than their desire to be close. So, when someone respects your boundaries, they’re saying, “I understand you, and I love you.”
8) Someone sticks up for you when you need it
This is perhaps one of the strongest signs of love. When people love you, they stand up for you, even when you’re not around to hear it. I remember back in high school when a nasty rumour started going around about me. I didn’t really have many friends; I’d always been one to keep only a few close friends. But the ones I had, oh boy, did they really prove their worth. They confronted the person who started the gossip and stuck up for me. I only learned about it much later, through someone outside our circle. So, you might have only a few friends like me, which might make you feel envious of those who have a wide circle, but if those few will go to battle for you, you’re much more loved than you realize.
9) They include you in plans
Just a few hours ago, I was listening to a dear friend telling me about her situation with her in-laws, and it’s funny how timely her story is in this article. The problem is, her husband works abroad so she lives alone with her kids. Meanwhile, her husband’s whole family lives nearby. But strangely, they never include her and her kids in their plans.
They’d try out new restaurants, visit museums, and go on out-of-town trips, and she would only find out when they posted their activities on Facebook. Naturally, she feels very much excluded. And as a result, unloved which brings me to this: you might not think anything special about the way your family or friends include you in their plans. But as my friend’s story shows, it’s not something you should take for granted. That’s a way of showing you you’re loved and your presence is always welcome.
10) You can be yourself around them
If the answer is yes, hey, that’s a sign you’re more loved than you realize. So don’t take it for granted either! Think of all the people in the world who have to behave a certain way to be “loved” and “accepted.” For example, I know people who can’t come out because their families frown on LGBTQ+ orientations. I also know people who have to pretend to go to church even though they’ve secretly been atheists for a long time. There are many more examples out there of identity suppression, but hopefully, you understand what I mean. To be accepted and loved for who we are is a gift we should never take lightly.
